Winds of fate
by Shiguya Retomasi
Summary: Family is important to most, but not Kera. From a young age, everyone around her was either useful or not. But, when fate decides to make her the one used... will she ever realize there's more to life than just being number one? Angst for later bits.
1. Part 1

Disclaimer: all characters, places, and recognized names are copy write their respective owners. Anything else is mine, so please don't be a thief; Shadowbane doesn't appreciate it.

() means a Pokèmon is speaking and that is a translation only if any characters present cannot hear it as a normal language.

_Italicized_ words are thoughts

**Winds of fate**

_-sigh-_ _Why the hell did that human have to find me? Why couldn't I just recover, and go on with my life, rather than being the slave of this idiot? The only thing that makes it bearable is he doesn't believe in leaving __Pokèmon__ trapped in those metal prisons._ _It's the only reason I haven't attacked him, yet. _

My captor, his Grovyle, and I walked in silence; not because we couldn't understand each other, but because I have nothing to say to either of them. _And if they even dare to make fun of my mangled ears, so help me__ I WILL introduce them to a whole new world of pain._

A sharp northern wind blew through the coastal road we were traveling down; bringing with it the scent of freedom. Something within me wanted to just break and run, but I knew that was pointless. I was stuck with him, and until he gives me a reason to free myself, such is my fate.

I should have seen my brother's betrayal coming: Derano and Charis were getting harder to keep in line, but I didn't think anything of it. It shouldn't have been a shock when Charis found the balls to fight back. Though, if Derano had stayed the obedient slave I taught him to be, it wouldn't have turned out this way…

How had it happened? I was distracted with Derano, administering a bit of electric judgment for giving me lip. That's when Charis rammed me in the chest, knocking me down, and savagely attacking my beautiful ears; scarring me for life.

Guess I owe Derano; he kept Charis from killing me, though it would have been better than being stuck with a human. _At least if I had died, I could be reunited with my REAL parents, not those imposters that pretended to be my mother and father._ _But no, I'm cursed to live on; suffering through the pain of life, and the insult of being owned._

_At least I can make my 'masters' life a living hell for capturing me._ _The asshole didn't even catch me when I had a chance; he just picked me up, and took me to one of those hospital things. The NERVE of him; thinking that if he helped me that I would become loyal to him. I only stick with him because that human that treated me forced this fate upon me._

The wind died down to a gentle breeze, the gentle motion relaxing my nerves a bit. The heavy scent of salt air filled my lungs as I tried to calm myself again. _Anger is pointless at this time, if I attack my 'master' directly, all it would do is get me killed. But, if he gives me reason to attack in self defense…_ I smiled at the thought of sending a lethal charge through his body; his screams of pain fading into nothing as the electricity shorted out his heart. He would beg, plead, and eventually accept that he was going to die. _Ahh__, how nice it will be when I can take out all the anger and hatred I'm feeling upon him._

But, for now, I must act civil, or at least civil enough that he still allows me to eat. At least fate isn't a total bitch; this human I'm stuck with doesn't like the shit that they market as 'Pokèmon food', preferring to allow his Grovyle and me to eat pretty much the same thing as he does, or to hunt down our own meals if we so choose. I go with the latter; I will NOT allow him to think for even a second that I need him.

We stopped for the night near a small stream; the gentle bubbling of the water was soothing. At least that asshole didn't pit me against some other humans' Pokèmon for their sick pleasure. Don't get me wrong, I quite enjoy letting out my frustrations on such weaklings, I just hate the satisfaction that my 'master' gets from it.

_Like he was actually doing anything other than yelling out stupid commands, which I ignore every time.__I'm the one doing the fighting__ and I'm the one taking the hits, not him. But, it's not me that gets the praise for hard work; no, they always complement him on his 'skill in battle'. Like hell he had any battle skill, I've known how to fight since the age of four months: a feat I doubt my 'master' could even hope to match in equivalent years._

Fucking idiot, all he wants is to be friends, like hell I would want a friend. All they do is bog you down, keep you from reaching your true potential. Maybe after I free myself, I can find a few males to bully into my service, start my own pack out here. But, that is for later, right now I just want to relax and get a bit of sleep.

My 'master' was at least good for something; he knew how to get a strong fire going even in the moist air, something that I loathe to admit. Within minutes, he had a roaring fire going, the flickering light it cast caused shadows to leap and dance against the trees. A wave of heat washed over me; chasing away the dampness of the sea air and bringing a sense of relief to my tired muscles.

Without even bothering to wait for that asshole to ask me anything, I wandered off into the woods in search of a meal. He really doesn't care, that metal prison has a way of calling me back to it no matter how far I go. But, at least he doesn't hold me close, instead allowing me to hunt down my own prey if I wish. Not like I would let it stop me. I am my own Pokèmon: not tied down by some human, never to be tied down by a mate, always alone. Just the way I want it.

The gentle sound of a Goldeen leaping out of the water, slowly making its way upstream broke me out of my thoughts. _Time to catch something for dinner._ _I'm starved after traveling for hours._

The thick forest did little to camouflage me, so it was time to improvise. With the wind still blowing north, I'll have to hunt in a southern direction to stay downwind from any potential prey. Good thing I grew up in similar terrain. Though, my body is much larger than it was back then, I can still adapt the old style I used. Walking softly, I made sure not to crunch too many pine needles underfoot, as to minimize the warning time my prey had.

It only took a few minutes of careful search to find a rather large Rattata gnawing busily at a pine cone, paying little attention to its surroundings_. I could easily run it down, but why should I simply kill it when there is much fun to be had from playing with my food?_

Purposely snapping a twig, I watched in amusement as the large rodent twitched its ears nervously, before dropping its meal and running off. I chased it at a decent pace, fast enough to keep it in sight, but definitely not my full speed. Every time it turned sharply, I fired a few pin missiles; using them to guide my prey where I wanted it to run.

Sadly, I quickly grew bored of its frightened squeaking, and all too predictable attempts to elude me. _Such a pity, too; I was hoping for it to be a bit more challenging._ With a soft growl of amusement, I released a burst of electricity from my body, using the needles left from my attacks as conductors; creating a sort of shock net. The weak bolts arced outward; homing in on the metallic spines. Each arc sending a loud crack, shooting off a few sparks as the energy was grounded.

The sudden light and sound frightened my prey, causing it to panic and land directly in the path of a particularly strong arc, sending a several thousand volts through its tiny body. I growled in amusement as its tiny body convulsed, blood oozing from its tightly clenched jaws as the electricity poured through its nervous system. This too quickly grew boring, so I sent a stronger surge outward; killing the rodent with a heart stopping jolt, its dying squeaks ringing in my ears.

"Ahh, Rattata ala thunderbolt; magnificent." I said to no one in particular. The wind died down completely, allowing me to savor the smell of burning fur for a moment before walking through the still sparking clearing, ready to tear into my prize. The piercing howl of a hunting Mightyena echoed through the quiet air as I grabbed my kill, and wandered closer toward the sound of the stream.

The nearby stream was in the open, but judging by how soft the howl was, the Mightyena was at least a half mile away from me. _They were far enough away that I can enjoy my meal in peace. Perfect. _The forest was quiet, which was unsurprising, as I was a dangerous predator. Though, the fools howl didn't help much. _The peace is nice, especially as I can really let go, and relax for just a bit._

"Man, too bad I'm stuck with that human; it's nice out here." I muttered to myself. The Rattata was a bit stringy, but still satisfying. At least I still had some amusement even after it was dead; tossing the bones into the stream and watching them sink in the slow current gave my mind time to wander_. This place reminds me of home, though without having my irritating younger brother around. _

The wind rose again, this time blowing from the north-east. _He was an annoyance; always following me around, trying to get me to like him. __Pah__! As if I would associate with such a weakling. Every time I think about it, I hate him even more; always underfoot, trying to prove himself. Why couldn't he just stay a daddy's' boy and leave me the hell alone!? _

The wind flared up, kicking up a fair amount of sand, and stinging my eyes. _Just great, now even the weather is against me. _With a growl of annoyance I stood up and shook myself; ignoring the sound of my ears flapping eerily. _That fried rat really made me thirsty, good thing we camped near a river._

Once I had finished off the best parts of the rodent, I tossed the remains aside and stood up, stretched, and yawned. _Nothing quite like a decent meal to make a lousy day a bit better.__ Though, I still have to deal with that asshole when I get back. Best make sure I'm cleaned up, as I do have a reputation to keep._

With a bit of difficulty I crouched over a calm spot on the river's edge; checking my reflection. Just seeing that weathered face staring back brings back bitter memories. _Not long ago, I was at the peak of my physical looks; the green-eyed witch some have called me, and for good reason._ Back before my brother attacked, I could use my charms to win over any other Pokèmon; male or female. _I g__uess being a __Jolteon__ had its advantages__ other aspects other than combat._

But, now I try to keep my fur in order, especially my white collar. Even so, I can see the looks of pity others give me now, because of my ears; the left one is missing the entire upper half, chewed jaggedly where it now ends. My right ear isn't much better; much of its length is riddled with holes. _Charis__ took a moment to chew on that one before trying to tear it off, though he didn't get the chance._ The wind picked up again, starting from an eastern direction before settling on a south-east breeze.

I pushed those negative thoughts aside, instead focusing on getting the blood out of my muzzle and neck fur. _I almost miss being able to clean up in warm water, but that's just another thing I left behind when I escaped the ones who pretended to be my parents. _The wind wasn't helping matters much, as every gust sent a chill through the soaked parts of my fur. _Damn this place, I swear even the weather is out to get me._

It didn't take too long, as the blood was still wet enough that a quick scrub loosened it nicely. _Hmm… maybe if I can get Kyle to give me reason to attack, I can charm a few of those __Mightyena__. Other than the wind, this place would make a nice place to start over. Though, that would probably involve fending off their alpha, and maybe even a beta. __Just something to think about later._With my task done, I shook myself a second time, licked the parts of my fur that were still disheveled, and made my way back to camp

o0o0o0o0o0o0

The wind picked up again, carrying with it the scent of Kyle's campfire, along with what I guessed was his sorry excuse for a meal. _Fucking humans__ and their need to cook things__Charis__ used to do that too, though at least he had the decency to make sure it was done right. It's one of the only things he ever did right. _

We were set up in a small clearing, close to the river I had cleaned up at, but still a good distance from the invasion of other humans. _It would be a great place to free myself, but I still have to have justification. I don't plan on being killed for attacking a human this early in my life. Still, it would be my word against __Gex's__, though they would obviously believe him. After all, it's not like fate has done anything good for me yet, so why would it change so suddenly?_

I stopped just outside the clearing, taking a moment to compose myself before strolling in. Kyle and Gex were sitting close to the fire, watching a pot of whatever he called that junk cook. I was hoping to simply find a somewhat warm place to lie down and rest for the night, but Kyle looked up from his work, fixing me with a concerned stare.

"I heard the howls and worried you might be in trouble." I met his look with a scowl, making it very clear that I was not in the mood to have a conversation with him. _But, why does he still care? Haven't I managed to cause him enough suffering yet?_

"Hah, like anything in this forest could stop me." _Damn right, one on one there are few that can beat me; and the ones that have cheated._

"Still, I would like it if you would stick closer to camp; there's a large pack of Mightyena living in these woods." _No shit._ _Got any other brilliant observations to make?_

"What, scared of a few dogs so you need me around to protect you?" I curled my lip, biting back a growl, before turning and settling down as far from where he was set up as I could. Thankfully, he gave up and sighed; pouring the still bubbling contents of the pot into three bowls. _Like hell I'm going to eat that crap. It's probably filled with drugs to make me and __Gex__ his slave._

He offered me one, as I expected. So, I simply rolled over, and stared out into the forest. _I am a bit hungry still, but I'd rather starve than take anything from him. _He just looked a bit hurt and withdrew his offer. _Showed him._

Once he was back on his side of the fire, I stretched out and relaxed slightly, though still keeping alert just in case. _Maybe I can wait until they're asleep and steal the metal prison I'm linked to… but, he would just claim me as a runaway, and I would never have any peace. -sigh- I can wait a little longer. _

The shadows danced along the trees, bringing back a few kithood memories I would have loved to forget. So, rather than dwell further on those unpleasant things, I just closed my eyes, and drifted off into a light sleep


	2. Part 2

o0o0o0o0o0o0

Morning decided to come around far too early, though it didn't help that Kyle dropped a kettle near where I was. But, it was probably for the best that I woke up early; it meant that I could prepare myself for another day of enslavement, and continue planning my fight for freedom.

"Think you can be any louder, there might be a Pidgey that didn't hear that a few miles away." I growled sleepily. _Rising early is NOT something I like doing. But, when you are forced to cater to the whims of a human, you learn to live with things._ He muttered a quick apology, before continuing more carefully.

Gex shot me a sour look, which I returned the best I could. _It's quite hard to muster a glare when you're still groggy, but for him I'll work at it._

"Don't push your luck, lizard; I do have my limits." I muttered, showing no emotion. Gex stared a bit longer before turning away, and helping with the clean-up. _Yeah, he knows that I would beat his sorry ass any day of the week._ _Although… I should still teach him a lesson in humility… maybe next time we have one of those two-on-two fights… eh, when the time comes…_

"You ready to go?" Kyle's' voice brought me back out of my thoughts. Rather than dignify him with a verbal answer, I just growled and started walking in the rough direction I figured we were going today. I rarely speak to him other than a few insults. Hopefully, between the silent treatment, and my will to not to be told what to do, his anger will reach a point where he tries to beat me. But for now, it doesn't seem to bother him; which aggravates me to no end.

No matter what I did, he just sighed and reached out a hand in friendship. Hell, I've come damn close to actually biting him for it, but the danger of being classified as a dangerous Pokèmon has held me back_. I know for a fact that Kyle can understand me; he talked a bit about it, before I told him off._ No matter what I do, he just keeps trying to befriend me. It's a waste of time, yet he keeps trying…

I heard him sigh again, before the quiet crunch of pine needles told me he was following. I kept a fair distance between us, pretending not to be associated with them.

All around us, the forest was alive with sounds. The cooing of a few Pidgey flying through the thick trees mingled with the alarm calls of Rattata and a Raticate; guess those Mightyena are pretty close still.

Other sounds drifted along the breeze; I could hear a few humans shouting out what I guessed were commands. _Just great, there are other slave driver humans around, hopefully we don't-_

'You a trainer?" _FUCK!_

"Yeah, you want a battle?" _No s__hit he does. Why else would a human ask such an obvious question? _I locked eyes with that wannabe standing before us. He was a bit shorter than Kyle, but definitely older; probably in his twenties in human years. Short, blonde hair, cutoff jeans, and the most hideous yellow shirt with a giant Pikachu face on it. _I hate most other electrics with a passion, but to immortalize such an annoying species… blondie here is going down!_

"You got that right; just got mine a few days ago." _Good, time to break in his new 'acquisitions' the hard way._

"Care for a two-on-two?" Oh, it just gets better. _If he accepts, I can nail pound, along with whatever pathetic excuses for Pokèmon the moron uses._ I didn't look away from him when Gex cracked his knuckles; I've heard it enough for it to not even phase me anymore. The moron who dared challenge my power took a step back, looking at me in horror. I simply curled my lip, and let a few sparks fly off my body; _there's no backing down now._

"S-sure" The moron replied timidly. _Guess he realized what was in store for the pathetic Pokèmon he sent against me_.

He half-heartedly pulled a pair of those metal prisons off his belt, and threw them out; releasing a Growlithe and a rather small Poochyena. _Hah, must be a starting trainer. Oh well, this should be over quickly._

"Gex: hook left, away from the Growlithe. Jolteon: cover him." _My 'master' still thinks that there's a chance I may actually listen to him_

"(Fuck off, I'll take them both.)" I shouted, ignoring the glare Gex gave me. Rather than listen to his stupid advice, I charged forward; keeping Gex and the Growlithe between me. The small canine yelped, breathing out a small blast of flame in panic, which was easy enough to sidestep. Judging by the howl of pain I heard a few seconds later, my plan worked. _That's what you get for glaring at me._

In the moments of confusion that followed, I took quick aim, and fired a small barrage of needles in the general direction of the other canine. The sorry excuse for a fighter just stood there, frozen in place as the needles rained down; howling in pain as some hit home. _Those were barely scratches… that poor excuse for a dark type is either a weakling, or simply too new to fighting to bother with._

In my moment of distraction, the Growlithe came to his senses and hit me square in the chest with a second blast of fire. It took a bit of will, but I managed to shrug the attack off with only a slight wince, even though it actually hurt quite a bit. _At least one of these wimps is putting up a fight. _

"Jolteon, please; just listen to me this once." _Idiot.__ I don't need anyone._

"Having trouble controlling your own Pokèmon?" I heard the moron trainer ask. If there weren't laws against it, I'd attack him right here and now just for SUGGESTING that my 'master' could ever have control over me. But, since that isn't possible, taking it out on his Pokèmon should be a good substitute.

Before either human could speak, I readied another round of pin missiles, firing the barrage in his general direction. I didn't bother aiming much, as my actual goal wasn't to connect with more than a few needles. When the canine howled in pain, I released a strong, but steady shot of electricity, again not bothering to aim.

The bolt of energy arced upward, guided toward the metallic needles. I kept up the attack, ignoring the shouts coming from both trainers, and focusing more on keeping the voltage painful, but not lethal, as it was not worth the trouble to finish the job.

"Jolteon, stop! You're killing him!" I heard Kyle yell; barely audible over the howls of pain coming from my first victim. Though, a part of me wanted to send a lethal charge out anyway, I kept it weak enough to be quite painful, but nothing life threatening.

Once blood started oozing out of the puncture points, I stopped; no sense in killing it, it's not worth the hassle. The moron recalled his half dead fire dog and was about to forfeit the match when the puny Poochyena bared its fangs and snarled at me, driven by a feral rage.

"(What, think you can take me?)" I said mockingly, turning to face the pathetic canine. "(Then come and get me.)"

The Poochyena charged, growling savagely. Time seemed to slow down for me, I heard the shouts of both humans shouting out things, but I couldn't understand them.

The small fool leapt at me, aiming to tear out my throat in one attack; which I retaliated against by wheeling around, and delivering a strong kick to its jaw. The crack of bone breaking echoed in my ears, leaving me caught between slight nausea and mild amusement.

Before it could even register the pain, I delivered the second blow to its chest, putting my full weight into the attack. The crunch of bone was audible even over the shouting: a loud crack, followed by a pained whimper, as the weakling was sent flying backward, landing in a heap.

I took a moment to examine my work, as the battle was obviously over in my favor. The Poochyena was breathing, so at least I hadn't killed it. _Though, with how weak it is, death might have been too kind __anyway. Let it get thrashed further._A few ribs were bent at odd angles, though knowing how powerful human healing technology is, it'll survive.

The moron recalled his battered Pokèmon, stuttering something about reporting a dangerous Jolteon, before tossing down a few of coins and running off. I didn't bother looking back at Kyle, choosing to clean the blood and dust from my fur.

"Jolteon, what were you thinking?" _I was thinking about winning, what else?_

"I was just defending myself, that's all; if you don't like it then make me stop." I replied, looking back and curling my lip at him.

"Why are you always like this? I just want to be friends." _Who the hell needs friends? I've survived all my life by my own skill and wit; friends just drag you down, much like lying parents._

"Because you're a human, and humans are all the same; you want to use me for your own purposes when I let my guard down."

"That's not true, I-" he started to say, before I cut him off abruptly

"Like I would ever believe anything a human said!" I shouted, discharging a few sparks from my now thinned fur. Kyle backed off, giving me a saddened look, and walking toward camp. I tried to calm myself… _I can't attack him just yet._

"C'mon Gex, let's get something to eat." He said, ignoring me for the moment. _Guess he doesn't want to find out just what I can really do. But, why is he still giving me that look?_ _After the hell I've put him through so far he should hate my guts; but__ he insists on trying to be my friend. _

_Bah, who can understand humans? Guess it's time to step up my efforts to make him hate me back. But how… I can't outright attack him yet, without placing myself in danger; maybe if I step up my efforts on Gex he'll snap… though, he didn't react after I purposely lead that fire attack into him__ Maybe he didn't notice, or is ignoring it? _

When I came out of my thoughts, they were already a fair distance away. It wasn't like camp was hard to find, but it still irritated me. The nerve of him: turning his back, and walking away from me when I still had a few things to say! _That does it, next time he tries that, he gets a few needles in the back. To hell with that stupid law, they'll have to catch me first. And, seeing as we're out in a more remote part of the Hoenn region, it's not likely that anyone will find me before I make my escape. _

I smiled broadly, imagining the look of shock on his face the death blow landed. _And as for that Grovyle slave of his, I've always wondered what gecko tastes like… bled out, preferably while still alive. Just to get that nice dry taste. Maybe a bit of something else… or, maybe not… that would be actually respecting his death in a way._

The entire way back, I kept the image of Kyle's body twitching as electricity kept him on the brink of death, flowing through his system, and slowly burning him from the inside out. It was a fitting death for someone who tried to claim me as their own. I have no family, nor will I let anyone call me theirs.

By the time I returned, Kyle and Gex had already settled down for a bite to eat, so I made a detour further into the woods. I could have sat down with them, but that would mean being nice, which is something I refuse to do. _Oh well, these woods are pretty infested with small game. Not like it's hard to find something to eat around here._

The scent of Mightyena was heavy in the area I was hunting in, but that wasn't a problem. Camp was probably set up on the edge of their territory, if not slightly into it. But, most wild Pokèmon stay clear of humans, unless threatened, or… stupid enough to challenge them. And, knowing a bit from experience on Mightyena behavior, they would keep their distance, unless Kyle became a threat. In a way it was too bad_. I could use a challenge after that lackluster fight earlier._

_Well, guess I have to settle for frying a few weak Rattata for dinner._ T_he stupid rodents still haven't learned how to hide or run very well_; within minutes I had enough killed to satisfy my hunger. _They weren't much on taste, though if you ignored the nutty flavor they weren't too bad. Only real problem was getting at the more flavorful parts of them; you have to rip open their rib cages to access the heart and lungs, which is a personal favorite of mine._

_Other than that, the only thing with any flavor on them is the brain, and that's a pain in the ass to get to. Good thing I know how to crack skulls, or it might be a bigger problem. All you do is bite down on the bone between the eyes and squeeze; it's like cracking a walnut, only bloodier. What I don't like, I leave for the scavengers unless I'm hungry enough to eat it; it's not like fresh meat is going to stay uneaten for long. _

After eating enough to satisfy myself, I followed the scent of water back to the stream, figuring on washing myself off thoroughly. Normally, after a good meal I would just lick the blood off, but I'm not in the mood.

Rather than just diving in, I stopped for a moment to examine myself. Nothing was different, aside from the blood staining most of my muzzle… but, I couldn't shake the feeling that I was missing something… not something wrong physically, but… A light eastern wind blew through the area, rustling the grass along the bank lazily. _Maybe…__maybe I was wrong…__NO!_ I slapped the water with a paw, satisfied as my features distorted in the ripples. Before the water settled down I jumped in, letting the rush of cold numb my senses, and wash away that strange feeling.

The stream was probably runoff from snow melt, judging by how cold it was. It reminds me of the lake where I grew up, only a bit colder. The current was slow, allowing me to simply rest against a large boulder, and scrub my fur down thoroughly. It also gave me a chance to think about other things, as the numbness eased away my normal anger.

_Why do I keep bothering to fight life? I hate myself, even though most of the time that anger is directed at others around me. Is it the need to be number one, or something else? And, why am I cursed to suffer like this? Does whatever bastard who controls fate think it's funny to lead me around on a string? For that matter, why am I even thinking about it?_

I stayed there for some time, watching the sun dip low over the tree line. The cold water numbed my body, helping me forget the nightmare I was living in. But, eventually it started bothering me, so rather than risk freezing to death in that water, I pushed off and made my way back to dry land. It was pretty late, so I just shook myself dry, licked my white collar to tidy it a bit, and wandered toward camp.

The trail back was quiet; the nocturnal Pokèmon haven't awoken yet, while the daytime Pokèmon were just settling in. _Twilight, I think my pseudo father called it: a time when the world rests together._ _Poetic? Yes. But, the words from a liar are worthless. Just as worthless as the words from someone who captures another when they have no chance to fight for their freedom, such as my 'master' did to me._ _And he thinks that trying to be my friend will make up for that injustice!? HAH, the only thing that will rectify his injustice is the spilling of his blood by my paws!_ I got so caught up in my fuming that it took me a minute to realize that camp was a different direction.

"Damnit, now I have to walk in the dark!" I shouted out to no one in particular.

By now, the sun had vanished, replaced by a crescent moon. I shuddered, not from the cold southern breeze, but from another memory attacking me. _On moonlit nights like this, my pseudo mothers' body always gave off an eerie glow; the yellow rings on her body reacted to some unseen force in the night sky. Even now it gives me the chills just to think about it; something about her was… so mysterious…_ _Bah, what do I care; she's a liar__ just like my pseudo father is__ and that's the only thing that matters._

Once camp came back into view, I sped up a bit; wanting nothing more than to lie by the fire, and dry off. Kyle didn't say a word, instead watching my rapid progress with that same irritating look in his eyes… _why can't he just hate me?__ I hate him, and would gladly turn my back on him in a heartbeat… yet, he still reaches out… why?_ I didn't even have the energy left to scowl… the warmth from the fire was sapping the last of my strength. So, I settled for turning away, and settling in, letting sleep overcome me.

That night, I had the strangest dream…


	3. Part 3

o0o0o0o0o0o0

I found myself walking alone in a grassy field, the soft blades rustled, stirred by a gentle western breeze. It didn't look familiar, as the places I've spent my life were heavily forested, but it was still peaceful… if not a bit unnerving. For all the beauty, there was something missing… I couldn't smell anything. The grass, the air, even my own fur was devoid of the normal odors they would give off. Something about this place wasn't right, wasn't real. I knew that it was a dream, but it still felt strange. _Well, might as well explore this mystery field a bit._

The wind kept blowing at a constant rate, creating a sort of soothing melody through the blades. It made me feel at ease, though I kept alert just in case something was preparing to ambush me. _You never quite know what could be lurking in long grass like thi-_The sound of something rustling a few feet in front of me brought me out of my thoughts. _So, something IS planning to come after me._

"Whoever's there, come out before I have to hunt you down." I shouted. The only response I got was more rustling, which irritated me. _If this is a dream, then I should be able to know exactly what's going on. _

The creature, whatever it was tried to run through the grass, though the constant sound and motion made tracking it a simple task. _Ugh, note to self: never hunt in grass again. It's going to take me an hour to get my fur back to how I like it. Though, it makes finding what I'm chasing a breeze. _Something was odd about my prey… I stood high enough to see over the bulk of the grass, yet whatever was fleeing was hidden by the dark green blades.

My confusion turned to annoyance when I managed to capture my prey. Rather than something dangerous, or particularly appetizing, I had been chasing a small bundle of brown and cream fur. _An Eevee? Why the hell is there an Eevee in my dream… for that matter, why am I thinking about it, rather than just killing the irritating thing, and moving on?_

It didn't take much to keep the small creature restrained. I simply had to keep one paw on its chest, adding enough pressure to keep it from moving, but not enough to hurt it; _that would come after I get a few answers… or if I get bored. __Heh, it's been a while since I've really played with a meal._

The Eevee started squirming against my paw, so I added a bit more pressure; making it difficult for it to breathe. She became frantic, squirming harder and squeaking pitifully. Entertaining as it was, her struggling was starting to twist my claws around; not really a painful thing, but annoying.

"If you stop struggling, I'll stop hurting you. Understand?" She didn't reply, but stopped trying to get free. So, I let up the pressure just enough that she could breathe easily. I could feel her heart hammering against my paw, which brought a quite nasty grin to my muzzle. _Fear is the best motivation, and a good weapon to utilize. _

With that out of the way, I took a moment to examine my catch. _Small, even for an Eevee, dark green eyes, and distinctly female. I'll just question her for a bit, and then have some fun. She's too small to be anything more than an appetizer. _

"Wha-what are you gonna do to me?" Her eyes were filled with terror. _Good, she knows I'm only a few wrong answers away from electrocuting her. How I was ever such a pathetic creature is beyond me, though at least I was built better than this scrawny thing. _

"Nothing, if you answer my questions." I replied, growling softly. _And once you do, I'm still killing you. Your answers will only affect how slowly and painfully it happens._

"I-I'll tell you anything-please don't hurt me!" Her eyes began watering, a few tears streaking down her cheeks as she stared up at me.

"Good. For starters, why are you here?" _And for that matter, where is 'here'._

"My mama and I were crossing the field. She said we were going somewhere special today, but I got separated from her, and… " She began crying, squeezing her eyes and wailing loudly. _I don't have time for __this, but she's the only way I'm going to find anything out… okay, just swallow my pride and anger for a bit, and then kill her very slowly afterward._

"Quit crying, I'm sure she's around here somewhere. And, if we find her, I'll let you go, but, only if you promise not to cry again." _Even if we do find her, they're both dead… though, how another anything could be here… _her annoying wails stopped, traded in for a few sniffles and a small hiccup.

"Really?" The tiny creature looked up at me with misty eyes, staring at me hopefully. _Blech, she must think I actually meant it. __No matter, she stopped_.

"Yes. Now, I'm going to let you up, but if you run I will kill you. Understand?" She nodded slowly, blinking a few times to clear her eyes. I lifted my paw very slowly, making sure to dig my claws in once to make sure she knew I was serious. Her whimper of pain was gratifying, but nothing worth showing any emotion over.

"Why are you-" She started asking a question, but a quick bolt of electricity silenced her.

"I will be asking the questions, and you will be giving the answers. Understand?" She whimpered again, rolling onto her feet and trying to look smaller.

"Yes…" Her voice was faltering, probably from having to hold back more crying. _Heh, I could get used to her… she's fun to push around. But, I'd rather hear her screams of pain as I tear he her to pieces before this dream ends._

"Good. Now, where did you come from?"

"Mama and I live a few days walk away from this field, under a tree stump. It's really nice there-" I growled sharply, not having the patience to listen further.

"Enough of your life story; keep it simple." She flinched again, probably expecting me to attack her. _Why waste the energy, as she's going to die __anyway_

'Okay…"

"Next. What is this place? I've never seen a field like this, yet it feels familiar." _Almost like something from the past, but I was raised in a human home. Even the wilderness was heavily forested, so why would my mind conjure up a field like this one?_

"Mama said it a place of healing, somewhere you go when things are bothering you. It's really pretty, but she said we couldn't stay long, because of the monster living here." She fidgeted, but made no attempt to run.

"I don't see how anything could act bad here, because it's just too peaceful." _I can. Monsters are simply hungry predators looking for their next meal. I have a feeling her 'mama' just made that part up to keep her moving._

"There's nothing here but grass. Who the hell would want to live in such a boring place?" _Give me a nice forest, with a few weaklings to boss around over this shithole any day. _

"Our species are drawn to this kind of place. It's open, quiet, and really has the feel of a home to it." _Fuck that mentality. Home is where you're in control, not where your heart is._ _I never understood how anyone could believe that load of bullshit. The heart is just a vital part of the body, one that tastes pretty good, too._

"That doesn't explain why this place feels so familiar. I feel like… I've been here before, or have seen this place another time." _And it's starting to piss me off._

"This place is a part of us all, if only in the spiritual sense. A place where the lost can come to heal." _Bullshit. I am not lost, nor is there anything in need of healing. And for that, I'm going to kill her in a very __painful way… I can already hear her cries of pain as I pull her apart. Ripping off first those long ears, then her tail… __at that point__, she'll be begging for mercy, but I won't __listen. Next will be her front legs, maybe I'll crush the bone and pull the muscle off, or maybe just pull them off whole. It really depends on my mood at that point. From there, I'll keep her pinned and slowly chew on her hind legs, starting with the toes, and moving upward. Mmm… I wonder what my former species tastes like? And once that's done, when she's exhausted from the pain and crying, I will devour her, starting from the stump of her tail, and moving upward… _I shook my head involuntarily, trying to understand where those ideas had come from. That isn't like me, yet… thinking further about it sent an odd thrill down my spine.

"Is something wrong, Kera?" I fucking told her not to-_wait, what did she call me?_

"What did you just say?"

"For being so arrogant and puffed up, you really are pretty blind to things." The little brat was staring at me, still trembling slightly, but something in her eyes was different… brighter.

"I'm not the one tempting a large predator, so how can you say that I'm the blind one?" I curled my lip, fixing her with a murderous glare. _The little bitch things that I'm going to let her get away with insulting me!? I'll skin her alive for that comment!_

"No matter how you deny it, deep down, you know I'm right." She grinned broadly, meeting my glare with an almost playful look of her own. _That's it, to hell with figuring out what the fuck is going on here; she dies NOW!_

Without really stopping to aim, or think for that matter, I released the largest bolt of electricity I could, intending on cooking her from the inside out. The bold arced through the air, striking her dead center… but, she just sat there calmly, as if the lethal charge was nothing more than a tickle.

"Kera… you're still hiding behind violence and anger. I thought you would have learned from how Derano and Charis turned on you, that it isn't the answer to your problems." _Of course it is, why else would anyone respect and listen to you… and how does she know about that, too?_

"… Who told you about that?" She just grinned, flashing several white teeth before turning and bounding off, leaving me dazed for a moment.

"Get back here you little bastard!" I tried chasing her, but the grass kept tangling in my fur, making progress far too slow. On top of that, she was giggling, which only served to fuel my rage.

"WHO ARE YOU!?" It was pointless to yell, but it made me feel a bit better. The rustling around me did little to calm my nerves, though somehow… it helped a bit.

"I'm you, at least the part that you've chosen to forget…" Her voice trailed off, carried along the wind like some forgotten tune. I kept running, following the movement until it stopped. But, all I found was a crushed trail of grass ending abruptly. Somehow, she had vanished into thin air… _I hate dreams._

All the exertion had worn me out, yet the rage burning in my chest demanded satisfaction. _I will find you, whatever you were… and I will kill you, very slowly. _I looked skyward and let out a deep howl, letting the anger boil fourth, and be carried along the wind, just like her voice had…

o0o0o0o0o0o0

Morning came around all too soon, though the sun was at least up a fair ways before Fucking Kyle managed to wake me up. Though, it did shake off the worst of that dream, so I suppose it wasn't totally unbearable.

Rather than listen to his worthless apology, I growled softly, stretched, and made my way toward where I had found that stream. _Maybe today he'll finally crack… I just need to apply the right pressure. Hmm… maybe giving Gex more than a few accidental love taps will do it…_

Bits of my dream kept playing in my head, making it very difficult to hold onto my anger. _I hide behind my anger? Why would she say something like that, as it isn't true? Anger is just an emotion, or so my Godmother would say: it's something to be controlled, molded to your needs, and utilized, not hidden behind. Still… am I hiding behind it? _

The quiet burbling of the stream shook me out of those unpleasant thoughts, bringing me back to my senses. _Maybe a cool drink, along with a few minutes of peace will make those stupid thoughts go away. And if I'm lucky, a bite to eat will be stupid enough to not notice me._

The area was deserted, not even a lingering Pidgey, or hyper alert Rattata was present. Even the normally present chirping of various avian species was gone… like something had frightened them into silence. _Heh, I guess that little battle from yesterday spread fast. _

Robbed of my meal due to everything being in hiding, I settled for crouching down and lapping at the water, figuring on looking for a few berry bushes on the way back. The cold shock shook off the last of my annoyance, leaving me… calm, if not a bit confused.

The words that Eevee had said rang in my ears… _the part that you've chosen to forget… what does that mean?__ I haven't forgotten anything about myself: I'm Kera, a Jolteon born to a set of parents, yet raised by others. Two of my brothers attacked and left me for dead a few weeks ago, which lead to my being owned by a human. My other brother… _the trail of memories grew hazy, fading back into suppression as my normal hatred for things surfaced again.

_That little bitch did something to me, I know it… but, I haven't caught sight or scent of any psychic types since I left the home I grew up in… so, how could anything be affecting me? I feel… lost, and it's really bothering me… could something be trying to warp my mind from a distance?_

I looked at my reflection in the stream, watching the water distort my already ragged features further. Life is cruel, yet the eyes that met my gaze were… sad. _What do I have to be sad about? I'm going to be free today, one way or another: that should be something happy, right? And… why do I feel so strange here? _

_It must be that Eevee, whoever or whatever she is has tricked my mind. That has to be it! But… why an Eevee? Wouldn't something a bit bigger, or more powerful be better to force their twisted will upon me? And… why does it feel like I've seen her before? Like something I've seen before, if only a glancing look… it must be just a random mix-up. Yeah, that's it._

A loud shout shook me from my thoughts; Kyle must be looking for me. _Fucking moron, why didn't he just force me back using that metal prison? _Rather than listen to his annoying calls of 'Jolteon' further, I turned and walked back toward camp… looking back at that peaceful stream only once.

It took a lot of control to keep myself from attacking Kyle just for calling me so many times… _I heard him the first fucking time. _At least when I got back, everything was ready; meaning I could just give him a bit of trouble for pissing me off before we headed out.

"Where were you?" Kyle asked, giving me a questioning look.

"Out for a stroll, that a problem?" I replied testily. _Just great, now he's gonna give me the third degree just for going to get a drink._

"You know it's not, I just wish you would let me know before you vanish like that."

"So now I have to check in?" I said in a sarcastic tone.

"What's next, gonna force me into that metal prison every time I do something you don't like?!" _Damnit come on, attack me!_

"No, it's just… why do you keep being so distant toward me?" _Because I FUCKING HATE YOU!_

"You captured me without any chance of escape; you took my freedom from me. What other reason would I need?"

"You really feel that way?"

"Damn straight I do." _It's more like a living nightmare than just imprisonment, but it's not worth taking the time to explain that to him._

"… Then, would you like your freedom?" _Fuck yo- wait, was he offering to let me go?_

"… No, I belong to you now. My freedom has been stripped away, and I have nowhere to go." _That, and I refuse to have it handed to me… I want revenge!_

"If you say so… " He gave me yet another sad look, before turning and motioning to Gex. I trailed behind as usual, though something was else was bothering me. _He had offered me my freedom and I refused… wasn't that what I wanted? _Something was wrong… _was I starting to like being with that asshole, or did the need for spilling his blood cloud my judgment?_

_It feels like someone__ or something__ is influencing me, guiding my life down some unseen path; and I don't like it._ _I am the one making the decisions, not some hidden asshole who thinks they can do a better job. I will NOT be manipulated by anyone!_

_Just something about him… it pains me to admit it, but he is kinda nice; for a human, that is. No matter what I do: telling him off, ignoring his commands in battle, attacking Gex… he just shrugs it off, and tries harder to be my friend. He even offered me my freedom… my species is very rare, yet he was taking my feelings into consideration…_

"I challenge you to a battle." Those enraging words shook me out of my stupid thoughts. _Time to maim another weakling!_

"One-on-one good for you?" I heard Kyle say, though it didn't matter how many were set against me. _I will beat them all, WITHOUT any help._ Already my mind was running through possible opponents; _mo__re likely than not,__ the assh__ole will use a ground type on me__, humans usually fight cheap like that_. Good thing I've mastered a few non-electrical attacks to take care of them.

"It'll have to be, I only have one." Good, it must be strong then. Hopefully something fully evolved; I hate fighting against inexperienced opponents, as they go down way too fast.

"Then I'll use my Jolteon." _Good, he's letting me, rather than me barging in; should make things much easier._

"Crap… I challenged though… Go, Vaporeon…" The loser tossed out a black and yellow striped metal prison, and what materialized from it made my blood boil. _That sleek blue body… a long tail ending in a wide fin…__ that frill collar: IT'S ONE LIKE DERANO! _

Both the Vaporeon and its trainer shrank away from me, no doubt due to the murderous glare I fixed them with. I didn't bother even waiting for either human to speak, as it wouldn't make any difference. _Kyle wouldn't understand why I have to do this… nor would I take the time to explain._

Before anyone could even blink, I charged the filthy creature, baring my teeth and snarling loudly. It tried to avoid my attack, but of course, I was much too fast to evade. My teeth met the soft flesh of her throat, piercing the short, thick fur with ease. Warm blood seeped from several puncture wounds, the life giving liquid dripping onto my tongue, and fueling my rage.

She, judging by how high pitched it was, shrieked: flailing madly against my iron grip. I tried to take a chunk of her flesh with me, but the motion dislodged my teeth from her throat, leaving several shallow, but very painful looking gouges in her still bleeding skin. _She's not Derano, but none like him deserve to live._

Both humans were shouting, but I couldn't hear anything aside from my pulse thundering, pounding out a war song in my ears. And there was something else… voices, screaming at me… _Derano… that weakling was trying to fuck with me even now! _Memories flashed through my mind, driving my rage further than it's even been before

My soon to be dead opponent sat there, moaning softly; a small pool of blood was forming around her legs. The sight of it made me… hungry. Hungry for more of her screaming, hungry for more blood… hungry… for vengeance.

"(Fight me… fight me like you would before… you escaped my wrath once, but now you will feel all of my power…)" She moaned again, firing a strong stream of water at me. The shot was poorly aimed, making moving to the left and countering with a spray of pin missiles a simple task. The needles bored into her skin, bringing with them another ear piercing shriek.

"Jolteon, stop! You're killing her!" His voice was distant, drowned out by the screaming in my head. My vision was red… a lust for death flowing through my veins, leading me onward as my mind succumbed to it all. _So, this is what true rage is like… no wonder Charis loved violence so much; it's fun. _

"What the fuck!? You're Jolteon is on a rampage!"

"(Please… don't kill me…)" _A fool's dying wish… _something was mixed in with the screams. A faint voice, crying out for it to stop, but I ignored it. _Only pain mattered, only violence… only her death_.

Without really thinking, I let a heavy bolt of electricity outward, the deadly energy homing in on the needles with ease. Fresh screams met my ears, rivaling even those of the ones in my mind; all of it bringing more and more electricity from me. _Yes… scream for me, beg for the mercy I will deny you…_ I moved closer, wanting to be near as her life slipped away.

I could almost feel her body twitching, the nerves flaring to life before being burned out by the force… blood flowed from several wounds, staining the ground around her a dark red… _Just a few more seconds… _In that moment of distraction, I felt a weird energy envelop me… and then, the world turned black…


	4. part 4

o0o0o0o0o0o0

When I was released, several hours had passed, judging by how far the sun had dipped. My heart was pounding, pumping adrenaline through my still tense body. _Kyle pulled me out before I could kill her, I'm sure of it. _

"Why did you do that?" I heard a voice say. I didn't even turn to look, as the only one who would ask that is Kyle. _He sounds hurt… like he was at fault for me letting my anger take over, and nearly murdering another Pokèmon._

"Because, her species doesn't deserve to live." I replied, scowling. _Fucking right they don't; anything remotely associated with my brothers deserves a violent death._

"… Was it because you hate me?"_ Don't fucking flatter yourself. If I hated you that much, you wouldn't even be alive right now._

"No. My hatred of you is different. But, given the chance, I would not hesitate to kill you, either."

"-sigh- Then you leave me no choice…" _F__inally, here's my chance_.

I watched in anticipation as Kyle walked away slowly, stopping near a large rock. _Come on, just pick up a rock or stick; anything that could be used to discipline me…_

He did indeed pick up a chunk of rock, but instead of throwing it or turning toward me; he just sighed again, and pulled a small metal sphere out of his pocket: my metal prison.

"You never wanted to be here, and it was wrong of me to force you…" He looked me in the eye, flinching slightly, before placing the sphere on the larger rock, and bringing the one in his hand down upon it.

The clearing rang out with a metallic crack, scaring a few Pidgey from their nests. A strange feeling washed over me, kind of like being shocked… only not painful.

"Now you're free, just as you wanted. I'm sorry for not respecting your wishes, and trying to train you. Now, please go…" The sorrow in his voice made me cringe slightly. It hurt… but, I was free now. _But, why do I feel hollow… _

He turned away, walking over to the fire and sitting down with his back to me. _I'm free… but, I didn't earn it… I didn't have to fight for it, like I have everything else… he isn't even angry…_There was no point in just standing there, so I turned and left; hoping to find the one place out here I've felt different… that same stream…

Maybe in the morning things will make more sense… maybe, I'll understand why I feel so strange.

o0o0o0o0o0o0

I awoke in a different place… that same field from last night, only the grass was much taller. Night had fallen, replacing the once bright, blue sky with a field of black; the moonless, starless expanse stretching outward, like a dark sheet hanging overhead. It was also much colder than before, as if something was sucking the warmth out of this place.

I was scared… for the first time in my life, I felt vulnerable… helpless… alone. When a deep howl pierced the silence, my heart began to race. _A war cry… something else is here… _instincts flared in my mind: _run, hide, find shelter__ and pray to whatever form of God there is that it doesn't find me._

In a blind panic, I chose a random direction and began to run. _I just want to be left alone, and not end up as someone's dinner… _nothing made sense, but if this was a dream… then, anything could happen.

I ran hard, trying my best to ignore the stinging in my paws from running across such hard ground. Grass tore at my eyes and ears, making it impossible to know what direction I was going. I would even be running in circles, and not realize it… but, the grass soon thinned, breaking out into a small clearing, dominated by a lone tree. It may have been beautiful in life, but now only a gnarled hulk remained.

Much of its trunk and limbs had been scorched, probably used as a marker by some very territorial fire type. _Maybe even the one who howled…?_ Many of its roots had grown upward, creating a tangled mess of wood and earth: the perfect hiding spot.

I squeezed in between a few that I figured would hide me well, noting that it was much too easy to squeeze between even the smallest ones… _but, most of them were smaller than my chest…__ I'll figure it out later; right now, I have to hide!_ This place scared me; something… sinister was here, and I didn't like it.

I curled up close to the dead wood, trying my best to sink into it, and out of sight… _but, how could I get so close?_As time crept by, my heart slowed; bringing with it a bit of calmness. It was really dark, so I could only make out vague shapes and colors… even so, what I saw and felt shocked me.

The normally yellow fur covering most of my body was now a dark tan, and much softer. Next were my ears: a bit narrower, and complete… like they had never been torn off. And… my body was smaller… no, I wasn't a Jolteon at all anymore… _but how? Wait… I had reverted to an Eevee? But, how could that be… __wait__… I had become her, the one from the other dream… but, why?_

I didn't have a chance to wonder further, as a shadowy figure bit down on one of my ears, and yanked me from my hiding spot. I squeaked loudly, fighting back pained tears at it threw me into the clearing. It growled menacingly, advancing slowly. Instinct flared up in my mind again, forcing my legs into action before it could move in for another attack.

I ran hard, the pounding of my paws against the hard ground, and the thundering pulse in my ears drowning out if's howl of annoyance. The long grass was to my advantage: even as it whipped against my body, it did far worse to whatever was pursuing me. _Run… that's all I can do now. Ru__n. And hope to find somewhere I'll __be safe…_

The grass began thinning, soon opening up into a new clearing… this one occupied by someone else. A sleek fox sat dead center, a sea of tails swaying and twitching to a tune only she could hear. Even in the moonless light, her fur seemed to glow… _just like it did when I was growing up._

"Kitsu…" She turned, dark green eyes flashing.

"So, now you choose to use my name, other than call me fox?" I cringed, knowing that look all too well. She put up with me, but only because mom and dad made her.

"Yes… umm, could you help me please? There's something out he-" I tried asking for help, but she cut me off sharply with a growl.

"I offered to help you before, when you were growing up. You always insulted me, saying you needed nobody. Why should I simply put that aside and help you now?" Her tails flared out; making her normally dainty body look much larger… the effect was even worse when you're already small enough to me nothing more than a play thing.

"Please… I'm lost and scared. And, something attacked me…" I wanted to cry, but the fear was still keeping the tears at bay.

"Then face your fate, such as you have chosen it. You turned your back on me the day you left; now, it is my turn to return that gesture."

"Kitsu, I'm sorry! Please, I'm begging you…" My pleas fell on deaf ears, as without even acknowledging me anymore, she turned and bounded off. I tried to give chase, but the grass didn't hinder her in any way; making my pursuit pointless.

_I never respected her, even all those times she would watch over us I sneered. I didn't need anyone back then… she was just another annoying adult…_ A few tears ran down my cheeks, leaving damp trails in their wake.

My self-pity was cut short by a loud rustling, combined with a deep growl. _It found me… _panic once again took over, powering my still tired legs, and driving me forward through the painful blades of grass. They tore at my fur, cutting through the short fur and leaving painful scratches on my cheeks and sides, but I didn't care. That small pain was much better than what the thing chasing me would do if it caught me.

My legs burned from the exertion, chest screaming for rest… but, I can't stop. _It's after me… it wants to hurt me, kill me… maybe even torture me…_The grass once again thinned, opening into a second, larger clearing… occupied by a pair of feline forms.

"Mom…? Dad…?" An Espeon and Umbreon were sitting side by side, looking up at the empty sky with interest. At the sound of my voice, they both turned their heads sharply, fixing me with harsh stares.

"So, now we're your parents?" The Espeon said coldly, the jewel on his forehead flashing an angry blue.

"When we wanted to be there for you, you turned your back. When we told you the truth, you called us liars. And, now that you need our help, you want us around?" The Umbreon continued, the rings on her body glowing brightly

"No, it's not like that, I…" I couldn't argue… _they were right. I pushed them away, never acting like anything but a brat, even saying they were never my parents when I learned the truth. And now, I wanted their help… their forgiveness…_

"You had your chance at parents, but chose to throw it away. And, now that you want us… we don't want you." They turned, walking into the grass and vanishing… _They don't want me… did they ever want me, or was I just a charity case among my brothers?_ Another howl pierced the silence, leaving me no choice but to continue running.

_Fear is all I know now, be it causing it in others… or, suffering under its grip._ _Is this what it's like for others… can I even feel like them anymore? _I was tired, cold… and scared. _Three figures from my past had left me to rot now, would others follow?__ And if so… will they be so lenient as to simply return the gestures I showed them?_

I couldn't feel pain anymore, as the despair from having my own parents say they didn't want me numbed both my body, and my heart… a part of me died inside upon hearing their words, though the rest burned with the desire to make things right… if that could even be done. _Is there even any forgiveness for the things I've done?_

I broke out into a third clearing; this one much more abrupt, as something had burned away a layer of the grass, creating a charred perimeter. I froze on the edge of it, staring in shock and horror at the creature occupying it.

A large Flareon sat dead center, blue eyes appraising his work. It was Charis… but, something was wrong. He had always given off a sense of anger, even when he was young… but, the creature sitting in that clearing was… evil.

"Don't go," I was turning to run again, but his too silky voice rang out.

"It gets so lonely out here, and I rarely have anyone to talk to… please stay." I backed away, unwilling to trust the false kindness in his voice. This served to enrage him, as without warning, Charis breathed out a long tongue of flame: missing me by inches. The flames licked at the grass to my left, setting them ablaze and leaving a charred streak on my side.

"Stay there you little bitch! You made my life miserable, always using me to pick on Dracoris. All I ever wanted was your attention, and you ignored me!" The softness was gone, replaced by a deep growl.

"I'm sorry about the past, but it can't be changed…" I choked out; the smoke and pain causing my eyes to water. He began walking forward, snarling and flashing a mouthful of jagged teeth.

"Oh, you'll be sorry all right; sorry you ever pushed me around!" As he yelled, the fur around his collar bristled, signaling another attack. I used that moment to dash forward, running underneath him and through the blackened section of the other side and into the safety of the grass. His howls and threats rang out as I fled, praying that he couldn't follow me.

_Charis… I pushed him around a lot, treating him more like a servant than a brother. No wonder he hates me. I hurt so many, used anyone around me to get my way… and for what? To have them finally get fed up, and turn on me? To leave me behind, dying of wounds they inflicted? _

I ran as hard as my weary body would allow; neither Charis nor that shadowy thing were following me, or if they were I couldn't sense them. Nothing seemed real besides pain in this place. And even that dulled over time… _maybe I died, and this is the punishment whatever sort of fate controls lives decided to punish me with. _

I relaxed my pace, still trotting fast but giving my body some time to recover. _Why won't this nightmare end? I know what I did to deserve it, yet it goes on…__wait…_I stopped, straining to hear anything above my thundering pulse. _Water… maybe a stream…_ _Derano may be near!_ I took off in that direction, hoping to find the only one who might forgive me…

As it had before, the grass opened up into another clearing, this one divided in half by a shallow stream running through it. A few large rocks were lying on the opposite side… _just like where mom and dad would take up sometimes…_

"Derano?" My voice faltered. _After Charis trying to kill me, maybe I don't want to find him._ The only answer I got was the sound of the water flowing against a few rocks. I sighed, waling over to the stream. And lying on my unburned side; letting the tip of my tail just touch the water. _Maybe I can hide here, and try to wait this nightmare out…_

"I was wondering when you would arrive." I jumped up, tripping over my own paws and landing hard. _That voice… it has to be him. _A sleek Vaporeon appeared from the water, as if by magic. His features hadn't changed; that same pained look still hung over his entire body.

"Derano, I'm so glad to see you!" I cried, getting to my feet and rushing toward him. In turn, he whipped his tail around; using the wide fin to swat me away.

"It's too bad that sentiment isn't mutual. I may have spared your life, but that doesn't mean I want anything to do with you." His words cut deep, tearing at my already aching heart, and sending a jolt of guilt and remorse through me. _I bullied him even worse than Charis, threatening to hurt him… even set up an 'accident' if he didn't do what I wanted. _

"I'll give you ten seconds before I let Charis know where you are: consider that the last nice thing I shall ever do for you." I gave him a pleading look, trying to think of anything that would change his mind. But, he simply started counting down, so I fled again… trying not to scream in pain as my legs protested.

_Derano too… I've hurt them all, letting my anger and bitterness guide my paw… and now, I've lost two of my brothers. Maybe… Dracoris! Yes! Maybe he'll listen, maybe I can beg for his forgiveness… _I was having trouble seeing: between the burn being agitated by the grass, and the worsening pain in my chest, I couldn't stop crying.

I was exhausted, miserable, and defeated… yet, I kept running. _What else can I do? That thing is still after me, not to mention that Charis probably joined the pursuit… I just want to be left alone… _I stopped feeling anything besides the pain in my chest; nothing mattered to me besides that…

The grass thinned again, opening up into a much smaller clearing than the others. Another Eevee was huddled at the far end, sniffling… _Dracoris…_

The ball of fur looked up, squeaking loudly and scrambling to its feet when it spotted me. I instinctively crouched low, trying to make myself appear less of a threat… which only panicked the other Eevee further.

"Wait, Please! I just want to talk!" A few tears rolled down my cheeks, splashing to the hard ground soundlessly.

"What-what do you want?" He replied. His, once I got a good lock, mismatched eyes were wide, filled with terror and mistrust. _I hurt him so much… just because… just because…_

"I just want to say…I'm sorry…"

"You're lying!" He shouted, backing up a few steps.

"No, please don't run! I want to-" His eyes were watering, dampening his cheeks.

"You just want to hurt me again!" Dracoris gave me an angry look before backing up further, preparing to run.

"Dracoris, I-"

"LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU MEANIE!" He turned and ran, a few tears flying from his eyes as he vanished into the grass. Again I was alone. I just collapsed, too tired to keep running and too depressed to care. _All of my family… I had hurt them… alienated them from me… now I know what that strange feeling was from before… remorse. I was feeling guilty…but not for hurting my family…__no, I had hurt the only one to ever reach out to me; driving him away just because of my own anger… _I cried out, ignoring the stinging in my eyes as hot tears ran down my face and pooled around me.

"Why! Why did I let this happen?!" I cried out, not caring who or what heard me now. _I had lost them… pushed them away, and bec__ome so self-__centered, that no one could ever love me…_ I didn't notice the shadowy creature approaching until it lashed out, it's large paw swatting me aside, before being placed painfully on my chest.

"I told you not to run." It growled, adding more pressure to emphasize its point. Even in darkness, I caught sight of yellow fur… a pair of ears hanging limply, and… a row of ivory teeth, bared in triumph.

"Who…are you?" I wheezed out. The creature was crushing my chest, making it very hard to breathe; something it took great amusement in.

"I'm you, or more precisely; the part of you that hates every living thing. I'm surprised you didn't recognize me. Now, I told you not to run, but you did… what would be an apt punishment for disobeying me?" I whimpered softly, trying to beg for mercy, but barely getting more than a few pathetic squeaks out.

"Ahh, I know. The same punishment you were about to administer to the other Eevee… that seems fitting, don't you think?" _No…_ I struggled feebly, pushing against the heavy paw holding me down, but it only made her toes flex, driving a set of sharp nails into my skin.

"I've never tasted the flesh of someone so young. This is going to be a delicacy…" My screams of pain echoed outward, as her razor sharp teeth bit deep into the base of my left ear…

o0o0o0o0o0o0

I woke up, biting back a scream. That dream had been so real… the words of my family still rang in my ears. _All that time my family loved me, but what did I do? I pushed them aside, using the ones I could bully, and ignoring the ones I couldn't… and what do I have to show for it? Chewed ears, no friends, no family… and an emptiness in my heart… I'm a monster, something that shouldn't exist in the light of day…_

My legs felt like lead as I stood slowly, every breath I drew burned in my lungs. _Why… why did I have to bring this upon myself? Kyle… he… he tried to be there, tried to be my friend. But, I pushed him away… I hated him, didn't want him around just because he was trying to be nice to me. Even through all my horrible behavior he stuck by me. The only one… the one who tried being my friend… and I hurt him… I hurt them both… _

I walked along the river, not really paying any attention to where I was going. There was no point to caring. _Wherever I __go__, their words __will__ always follow; my personal demons coming out at night, ready for a new set of torture… __was I meant for this from the beginning? To throw away all the good things of life in pursuit of some near sighted goal?_

The stream lead to the ocean: the trickle of water that was left falling over the edge, creating a small rainbow in the morning light. _The ocean… I always wanted to see it, if only to push my little brother over the edge… _Tears fell from my eyes, a final burst of raw emotion, before the cold hand of death would strip me of this pain…

The cliffs near where Kyle camped were jagged; mighty boulders worn down into row after row of stony spikes. _Does death hurt? Would I even feel anything at this point… and, what will the other side hold for a horrible thing like me? Are my birth parents there? Would they even want me, after what I've done?_

"Mama… I'm coming home…" I was preparing to jump, to end the suffering when something heavy tacked me; a pair of limps grabbing me around the chest and holding tight. _I have to do this; I have to end the suffering!_

"Let go, I have to do this!" Sparks flew from my body, many of them flowing through whatever was holding me.

"No you don't, you have your whole life ahead of you!" I paused for a moment, trying to process the voice… _Kyle? Why does he care?_

"You don't know what I've been through, what I've done! I don't deserve to live!" I shouted, struggling to break his grip.

"Yes you do! You have me!" I flailed wildly, sending more sparks from my body.

"I have nothing to live for, now LET GO!" I released a powerful bolt through his body in a last ditch effort to get free. Maybe it was the electricity locking up his muscles, or maybe he was just that determined; either way, his grip remained tight.

"I have nothing… I've lost it all…" I said quietly, unable to stop the tears from flowing.

"That doesn't mean death is the only thing left. I still want to be there for you, if you'll let me." _Even now, he wanted to be my friend… after all the things I said, the things I did? Could it be_…?

"I'll let you go IF you promise not to run." My voice gave out, so I just nodded and whimpered softly. I felt him relax his vice-like grip, shifting his arms outward and rolling onto his side. I just lay there, twitching and sobbing like a scared kit_; why did he save my life?_

Wordlessly, he righted himself and took a few breaths, before lifting me onto his shoulders, and heading back toward camp. _His body is so warm… _I let the myself slip away, lulled into unconsciousness by the gentle rhythm of his footsteps.


	5. Part 5

o0o0o0o0o0o0

I don't remember having any dreams… just a blank point between when Kyle found me, and when I awoke in the evening. My body was still sore from being tackled like that… and a bit restricted… _what?_ I looked over myself in the dying light, noticing a set of white cloth had been wrapped around my chest.

"You're awake, that's good." I looked up slowly, trying to figure out where that voice had come from.

"I bet you're hungry after sleeping all day. Would you like something?" _Why does he even care… I've been nothing but trouble to him… _my stomach growled loudly, answering for me.

"I'll start a bit of dinner then. Do you need anything else?" I shook my head, letting my eyes go out of focus. _Even after everything, Kyle is still thinking about me… he probably wants to keep me here, before reporting what I've done to some other humans…_

"Dinner should be ready in a few minutes, so just try to get some rest." He turned, walking over to that bag he carries and fishing out a small pot. _I need to be alone… he's too kind, and doesn't deserve to have filth like me weighing him down. _The cloth made moving difficult, but I managed to stumble just outside of the clearing; crawling under a large bush, and watching the activity.

Kyle had Gex head down to the stream while he fed the campfire a few more twigs. The lizard grumbled, but did as asked, carrying the kettle that had woken me up so many times in both claws. _That could be me… I could have been a friend to someone, maybe even a loved one. But, now I'm worthless… I threw it all away and now… I have nothing to show for it, other than a hollow heart, and a broken will._

Time passed slowly, creeping along like a Slugma. Seconds felt like hours, each one deepening my sorrow. Gex had returned, grumbling about a wild Mightyena that thought he would make a good meal. Kyle just laughed, noting that the kettle had a bit more personality, due to the large dent in its side.

Once things were set up, Kyle stripped off his shirt, revealing dozens of puncture wounds along his chest and stomach… _I had done that to him… the sharp fur on my back must have dug in when I was trying to get free… _Kyle didn't notice me hiding in the bush, though most of his concentration appeared to be put toward not yelling in pain.

"Why did you bother with her; she's more trouble than it's worth." Gex muttered, pulling out a white box with a red cross on the front.

"Because she's hurting, somewhere beneath all that anger and bitterness, I know there's something tender… someone lost. That much anger can't be healthy… I'm sure it's eating away at her, blackening what once was a caring heart like a cancer, leaving only pain in its wake. I just want to find the part of her that still cares, and try to help heal her wounds." Gex stared for a moment, before scoffing loudly.

"Pah, you're too soft hearted; and it's gonna get you hurt real bad one of these days." Kyle sat down, moving his arms out, and giving both Gex and myself a good look at the wounds. The punctures had stopped bleeding, but were colored an angry red from being agitated so long… _yet, he still worried about me first…_

Gex pulled a brown bottle out of the box, taking off the cap, and pouring a bit of its contents onto a fresh cloth. The gecko frowned, dabbing lightly at each wound. Kyle flinched visibly, but made no motion to stop him.

"A bit of pain comes with the territory; and it seems to me that you weren't exactly friendly when we first met either."

"… I thought we weren't going to bring that up again?"

"You're the one that keeps on Jolteon about her ways, and you don't have any room to talk; you were just as bad as her when we first met." Kyle smiled faintly, ignoring the obvious pain he was in.

"I was nothing like her!" Gex frowned again, this time uttering a soft 'Grov' while putting the bottles cap back on. He then pulled out a roll of the same cloth that was around my chest, and began to wrap Kyle's wounds in it.

"Oh? Didn't you break my leg with a bullet seed?"

"…You startled me, that's all." _He did that, and they're friends now? Kyle…_

"Then why were you laughing at me on the ground?"

"Look… can we just drop it?"

"Fine…but I just wonder… what could have happened in her life to make her so bitter… I just wish she would tell me her name-"

"Kera." Both of them looked up abruptly. I slowly crawled out of my hiding spot, trying not to look either of them in the eyes.

"My name, it's Kera"

"That's a nice name." Kyle replied. I walked forward slowly, still not daring to meet his gaze. _He was calm, even though the wounds I caused must have been painful… why does he care? What does he know that eludes me?_He motioned for me to come closer, and even though something inside of me said to be cautions, the thought of that same warm feeling from earlier coming back drove me forward.

"I'm glad you're okay. Nobody should have to be alone." He pulled me close, cradling my head in his lap so gently… he was warm, not forcing me to stay, but rather inviting me closer… I flinched as his hand brushed my cheek fur, teasing a few of the spines. It made me nervous… and at the same time, slightly relaxed.

His hand never stopped moving: running along my side, scratching my head, rubbing along my cheek and neck… I stopped thinking about anything besides his touch… only that mattered to me.

"You had me worried, vanishing like that. But, somehow I knew you wouldn't run away." Gex snorted loudly, causing Kyle to stop his stroking.

"Just because you can't see past what she did, doesn't mean she's bad." Gex snorted again, banging the kettle around.

"A Growlithe can't change its stripes, Kyle."

"And what if I had thought that about you? You were not the easiest Treecko to work with."

"I also didn't attack without warning, make quite bold threats, or try to kill my opponents in cold blood." Kyle resumed his petting, though it had a much weaker effect on me now. _You can add murderous intentions toward your trainer to that list… _

"That doesn't mean you have any right to make judgments about others. Jolt-Kera is one of us, a part of this small family. And as such, I would hope you could find the decency to treat her with a little respect." Both were silent for a moment, before Gex sighed; muttering a quick apology, before going back to what he was doing.

"It's all right, you're safe here." _Safe… that's something I've never… really felt before._ Just the soft touch of his hands against me made my problems seem so distant… I guess just the thought of someone caring about me sparked some long forgotten emotions…

Gex didn't make any more comments the rest of the night, instead choosing to direct his attention to eating. I tried to follow suit, but my stomach kept heaving… it wasn't bad food; probably the best thing I've eaten in a month. But, I just didn't feel hungry. The entire time, Kyle just talked; never asking me to answer… just talking about everything, and nothing.

He went on about so many things, practically reciting his entire life story as the sun sank below the tree line. It… felt weird, to say the least. I had stayed silent for hours, almost put into a trance by his gentle motions. _I still felt lost, but somehow… maybe, Kyle was someone I could stay with. Someone… to give the tattered remains of my life purpose._

"We should get some sleep, it's getting late." His voice shook me out of my thoughts… he was so warm, I could have fallen asleep right then and there. Kyle gently moved me, making sure my head didn't strike the ground before he stood up, dumped the remaining water on the campfire, and walked over to his bag.

I got up and followed, though I don't really know why. Whatever the reason, I didn't want to be away from him… even for a second._ Maybe it was his touch, maybe it was how warm his body was: I really don't understand it._

"Something wrong?" I tried to say something, but my voice froze; leaving me standing there, with my jaw hanging open. He just sat down, pulling his sleeping bag loose and giving it a lazy toss; unrolling it on one motion.

"I was wondering… if I could…" Kyle looked directly at me, reaching out with his free hand and scratching the underside of my throat.

"It's all right, take your time."

"Would it be all right if I sleep by you tonight?" He just gave me a questioning look before replying. _I sound like such a freak… _

"Has it been too cold for you?"

"No… I just… I'm scared…" I looked down, ashamed of myself even daring to ask such a stupid thing. _He doesn't hate me, yet every time I try to say something… it makes me look even worse. Maybe it would have been better if he hadn't saved me… at least then; he wouldn't have to care for someone so worthless. _I looked away, ready to find somewhere to just curl up and try to sleep.

"Come here." I did as told, not really thinking about it… _What did it matter? If I don't start behaving right, Kyle might abandon me, or worse… I'm sure he's just pretending to be nice. _

"I'd like that. It's always nice to have someone near to stay warm with." He reached forward, moving his hands around my chest gently and pulling me close. I just fell limp in his grip… _he's too nice, too caring… I don't deserve this. But, if he wants it, who am I to disobey? _

Kyle pulled me close, doing his best to maneuver us into his sleeping bag: holding onto me with one arm, and flipping it open with the other. He then scooted under it, holding me close to his chest… it felt, comforting to be pushed around. _Maybe… I was meant to become his Pokèmon, his servant? My life doesn't matter anymore… I've lost everything, so doing whatever makes him happy… whatever he wants of me… maybe that's why I'm still alive…_

Once he settled down, Kyle loosened his grip; bringing the other arm around and holding me in a firm, but soft hug. I just lay there, not daring to move… he seemed comfortable, and that was enough for me. _Maybe tonight, sleep will be dreamless… or at least, enough so that I can alone… like a worthless thing should be._

o0o0o0o0o0o0

"… No…" _They were taunting me again; reminding me of the horrible things I had done… they wouldn't leave me alone…_

"… I'm sorry… I… please, don't leave me…" _Cruel laughter met my pleas, they didn't care anymore… I was just an insignificant fool begging for pity. A creature to be mocked, and tossed aside._

"… Mom… dad… I'm sorry…" Something was shaking me, but I couldn't tell what… _why does it matter, anyway? _

"Kera… Kera, wake up…" _A voice was calling my name, but who would care?_ The shaking continued, forcing the dream into submission. I opened my eyes slowly, squinting due to the bright sunlight shining down on me.

"You were having a nightmare…" _Kyle… his voice was still warm_. A pair of hands brushed against my cheeks, causing me to purr involuntarily.

"Are you okay?"

"… No…" He couldn't understand how I'm feeling, _and he's too kind to be burdened with my problems. _The hands kept moving, digging into my fur and teasing the skin beneath… _it feels so nice…_

"You can tell me…" I could feel his breath against my head, washing over me like a warm breeze… _maybe he cares… maybe I should just give in… I have nothing, and he has everything… I want to be loved…_

"… No one wants me… they all hate me…" He moved a bit closer, moving his hands downward: dragging the tips through my fur.

"I don't hate you. I think you're something special." _You're a human, my problems are meaningless… I'm only useful for fighting to you… humans can't care… _

"I'm nothing… just a monster that should have never lived…" The fingers stopped, and then were removed. _I wish he hadn't stopped me… maybe then, the torment would have ended…_

"For being a monster, you're quite soft to be by." _Why is he saying nice things about me? I'm not worth his kindness… _

"… Was it your parents you hurt?" _I hurt everyone around me… nobody can love a self centered creature like me… why does he care… I'm nothing…_

"… My family… I hurt them all…"

"Kera…" I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling a few tears roll down my cheeks. _I just want the pain to end… can't he understand that? _I felt something brush against me cheek… not his fingers, but something softer…

"I'm sorry for not trying to be better to you, but maybe… I can help you?" _Better to me? I'm the monster… the one who made his life miserable… how could he say it was his fault?_

"Kyle…" I opened my eyes slowly, trying to make out his features. The tears blurred my vision, turning him into a pink blob, set against blue and green.

"Nobody should be sad… family is important in life, something that we're often denied for one reason or another…" He trailed off, shuffling back a bit and rubbing his cheek against my neck. It felt awkward… yet, nice in a way.

"If you want to go home, I'll do everything I can to get you there." His hands returned, pulling me close to his body.

"… Why?"

"Because, nobody should be forgotten. I know we've have a rough time of it so far, but I want to put that behind us. Every day is a new chance at life, another opportunity to enjoy the gifts given to us. And, I know that anger and violence isn't the real you." he trailed off, breathing heavily into the fur of my neck.

"Okay…" it didn't feel right asking him for anything… _I'm his Pokèmon, not an equal… yet he would do __something like that for me? I don't understand… _Kyle nuzzled my neck, sighing softly.

"You're someone special… I just want to see you happy." _I don't deserve to be happy… but, if it makes him happy, then I'll try…_

"Would you two like a room?" Gex was standing nearby, watching us with a rather sour look on his face.

"Gex, shut up."

"Just asking…" he flashed a grin, before wandering off to do something else.

Kyle held me close, murmuring in my ears, running his hands along my neck and chest as I slowly told my story. Gex scoffed a few times, but was silenced by a sharp look from Kyle… _it didn't mean he was wrong, though. _It hurt to say the things plaguing me, but somehow… he made it bearable.

He never demanded I continue, but his soft voice urged me on; giving me enough strength to face the demons tormenting my mind, and letting him in… _it's pointless, though._ _Home is too far away, and he's in the middle of a journey… _But, after a quick breakfast we set out for the nearest town. Kyle said we were going back to Johto, which made me cringe inwardly._ Johto, back to the place my demons are strongest…_


	6. part 6

o0o0o0o0o0o0

"_No… stop… make it stop… please, no…" _

_"… Face it; you're nothing more than a brat…" _

_"… A filthy creature, given the world, yet spitting on it…"_

_"… A monster, something not even a mother could love…"_

_"… A horrible thing… a blight upon the ground you walk..." _

_"… A menace that should have been exterminated before you could hurt so many…"_

_"… A big meanie…"_

_"… Help… me…"_

In a bright flash, the darkness receded; changing from the cold confines of my own mind to the warm spring air of the outside world.

"I'm sorry for leaving you in there so long, but it wasn't possible to travel with you outside of your Pokéball." I looked back, noting that Gex was standing a few feet away. _I bet he was allowed to be free… he's not dangerous, or likely to cause trouble, like Kyle must think I would._

"It's okay." He walked up, kneeling down and scratching my neck gently. I leaned into the motion, letting his touch drive away the voices…

"Okay… we're about a half day's walk from where you said you grew up. Do you feel up to it, or should we rest for a while?" _It doesn't matter… a day or three won't change their views… _

I sighed, letting the light forest scene sink in. Pidgey's were calling out in the afternoon sun, while a few Ratatta gnawed on seeds near the trail; The sound being carried by a gentle breeze filled with the scent of wildflowers.

"I'm ready." _As ready as I'll ever be… _Kyle gave me one final rub, before standing up and starting walking. I stayed nearby, watching the sides for any chance of movement. _Hopefully whatever that pack that was near when I was growing up didn't claim this part… or maybe Dad claimed it… _

Kyle and Gex were quiet, awed into silence by the natural beauty of mount Silver; something I had never really appreciated until now. _I lived in what could be called paradise… a loving home, a beautiful forest to play and practice in… and I threw it away… letting my emotions rule me, turning my back on them and chasing some stupid reasoning that I was better than them… yet, here I am… heading back to face _them_…_

I slowed my pace, letting Kyle go ahead of me. _I just… I don't feel right walking at his side.__ I've done so much to him, yet… yet he still accepts me. Why, that's all I want to know. Is there something he sees… something he feels that I'm ignorant to? Am I… am I really worth trying to help?_

It was hard to tell how much time had passed, as the sunlight filtered through the trees, making it difficult at best to check its position. Though, judging by how hungry I was getting, we had been walking for a few hours at least… not that I would complain. Kyle and Gex were lost in thought, and it wasn't my place to disturb either of them…

"Kera?" I stopped, shaking my head in an attempt to clear it out, and looked back. Kyle was standing near a small sign attached to a post, pointing down a second, smaller path. "Does this look familiar?"

I walked over; avoiding the look he was giving me and staring at the marker. It was… odd, to say the least. I never learned to read, but the small image beside the lines that humans can understand… _Dad…_

"… Yes. Um… what does it say?"

"Ketchum manor this way." _It's dad all right… _

"… Home…" I shuddered, looking down the small trail, trying to ignore the sense of dread welling up in my chest. _Maybe Kyle will let me turn back… no, I have to do this. I have to face them… _I started down the trail, looking back at Kyle once, before continuing.

_Home… do I even have a home, or is wherever Kyle wants me to go where I exist? Do they even care if I'm alive or not? And, what if Charis or Derano are there… will they even give me a chance, or simply finish what they started? Would I even try to stop them even if they did…? It doesn't matter… doing this might make the demons leave me alone… maybe then, I can find a purpose… a reason to live…_

I kept ahead of them, hoping to hide the tears forming in my eyes from Kyle… I didn't want him worrying about me. _This __is__ my problem to deal with, not his… he shouldn't have to worry about me… my problems are my own doing, and should be faced alone…_

The trail was beaten down; though narrower than the one it spurred from. _Probably because humans don't come up this way very often… or, maybe they've moved. Maybe they knew I was coming and left… or maybe, I'm just trying to come up with excuses not to do this. _

The trees thinned, giving way to a large building; a three story mansion, looming over the landscape. _Home… at least, what was once my home. Now, it's just a place where the demons have taken form… where the trail of memories ends…_

"Wow…" Kyle muttered, looking up at the manor in awe.

"Yeah… I grew up here…" _And turned my nose up at it… _

The lawn was freshly cut, leaving the thick scent grass hanging in the air. Along with it, so many familiar scents were carried along the breeze… _Mom and Dad are home, along with Thanos and Shadowbane… and someone… someone familiar… _"It really is a wonderful place to live, even if you had to fight back your fear of large predators."

"Predators… oh, you mean like that Umbreon staring at us?" Kyle said, pointing toward the back of the manor. _Umbreon… Mom?_

I looked to where he was pointing, cringing as my gaze met that of a disgruntled looking Umbreon. -_sigh- This was a mistake…_

"Who are you?" Her voice was sharp, like someone used to scolding others… or angry with the present company.

"Kyle Byron, and I brought someone who knows you." I looked away, not daring to look into those ruby eyes for more than a few seconds. I swallowed hard, mustering up what little courage I could, and praying that my voice didn't give out.

"Hi… Mom. It-it's me, Kera…" My heart raced, pulse pounding in my ears… _I can feel her hatred, the disgust at having me here… maybe she's already signaling to Dad, getting him ready to evict me… or worse…_

"I didn't expect you to return, what with how you left." I could feel her approaching, that same aura I grew up around chilling the air slightly… _probably just another trick, something to distract me from the actual danger_…

"I-I just… I wanted to…" My throat tightened, making it impossible to speak… _she hates me… she doesn't want me here… nobody wants me…_

"You wanted to what?" My eyes started watering again, but I fought back the tears… _I can do this… I can do this…_

"-Should have seen the look on… Kera?" I looked up, meeting the gaze of… _no, not him… it… I…_

"I can't do this!" Before anyone could react, I turned and ran in a random direction, barely hearing the voices yelling at me over my pounding heart. _What was I thinking… they don't want me, I'm just a burden… something to be pushed aside and forgotten… a monster, best kept from the light of day…_

I ran… trying to escape the pain, to get away from it all. _Kyle… he shouldn't have saved me… I don't deserve to live… _the tears flowed freely, blinding me and making it impossible to know where I was headed… anywhere was better than the manor…

The scent of water caught my attention, causing me to run toward it, as if guided by some unseen hand… _the chain of memories pulling my heart toward… toward my darkest hour. The place I almost passed that final barrier, the separation between cruelty and murder… the place… where Dracoris almost died __by__ my paw…_

Serene Lake came into view: a large waterfall thundered at its far side, sending up a constant cloud of mist, churning the water around its rocky base. The dark blue depths were foreboding, a calm surface hiding many hidden dangers… predators, unseen currents, and even loose rocks could be the demise of anyone unaware… _or, a mean spirited sibling…_A rough breeze picked up, kicking up some loose sand; stinging my eyes.

"I knew you would come here." I froze, stunned by the sudden intrusion. _Who… _As the shock wore off, I turned slowly; meeting the smiling face of Dracoris.

"How… how did you know?" _He was an Espeon now… such a stupid question to ask…_I couldn't look away from those mismatched eyes, so bright and filled with hope… _and something else…_

"This place holds strong memories for both of us." He sighed, looking out toward the water. _He hates me… I know he wants to get revenge… to finish what I tried to do to him… why else would he become a psychic?_

"No matter how old we grow, how far we travel from this place… it always calls out, a haunting reminder of what could have been the end of our journey…" He sighed, walking to where the water lapped at the shore, and stopping; the strong gusts dampening his paws.

"We may dance on the very edge of life and death, staring down fate and challenging her to best us. But, it's always that first encounter with her, that narrow escape from the grip of the afterlife that haunt us the most… clawing at your chest, tormenting you at your weakest hour… your chest tightens, struggling to breathe as it closes in around you… draining your life away, the numbness spreading through your weary body…" He trailed off, shivering violently for a moment. _He… what have I done? How… how can he even look at me without malice? He's my brother… my own flesh and blood, yet I pushed him away… I should have… I needed to be there, to be the big sister he wanted…_

"But, that's in the past now. No sense in dwelling upon things." His voice returned to the same cheeriness I remember from growing up, like nothing had happened. _He… how could he say such dark things, yet act so happy… maybe he's just planning on how to kill me… or punish me…_

"The past is all we have: it's what defines who we are, and what we can become." I turned away, not wanting to darken his cheery mood further. _He doesn't need me… Mom and Dad still love him, still watch out for him… _

"But, it is how we grow from past experiences that define who we can become. Simply giving up, and believing that the past can never be healed only leads to ruin." _I've been on that path since birth, what good is it to fight back now? _

I took a few steps, my legs wobbling dangerously before collapsing. His words hurt too much… the kindness, the desire to have me close… I gave in, wailing as the tears flowed again; streaking down my cheeks and striking the sand soundlessly.

"Kera…" _He's too kind… I deserve his anger, his vengeance… not mercy, or kindness. I want… I want Mama… I want her to love me… _he approached slowly, taking guarded steps… _I want… I want Dad… I want to be held, to know I'm safe in his grip… _he paused, his gaze resting upon me ears for a moment, before continuing… _I want to be loved… I want a home… I want… I want… _a silky paw brushed away my tears, rubbing across my cheek in a comforting way… _I want… I want the pain to end…_

"Kera… look at me." His voice was gentle, like a warm paw reaching through the mist, offering to bring me home… but, I remained silent.

"Look at me." His voice hardened, changing from a soft request to an order… I blinked a few times, staring at the blurry shape above me. "I don't want to hurt you, I don't think you're a monster, and I don't hate you. Kera… growing up together was very difficult. But, that doesn't change the fact that you're my big sister… or the fact that I still look up to you." He smiled, licking the bridge of my nose a few times.

"You really mean that?" I sniffled once, rubbing a paw against my eyes. He just smiled broader, his mismatched eyes sparkling.

"Of course I do. Come on, I'm sure Mom and Dad want to see you too." I stood up slowly, trying to fight the wobbling in my legs. _Maybe… there is some hope for me… maybe the winds of fate are blowing in a new direction… I can only hope to somehow make up for my past…_

Dracoris lead the way, waving me forward with his forked tail… and his warm smile.

End


End file.
